My Story: High performing for someone else to high performing for myself
My family always expected the best from me. I was the chosen one, the "golden child", the one who would succeed. So from early on, I've carried that pressure. Living life from that viewpoint made every decision difficult, ever failure devastating, and every accomplishment nerve-wrecking.
The decisions were difficult because what I wanted wasn't all that mattered and what everyone else expected was always more important. The failures were devastating because the public embarrassment of not fulfilling the expectation was almost unbearable. The accomplishments were nerve-wrecking because with each one, the pressure was greater to top it, to continue on the path up and what if that was the highest I could go? What would that mean? And would I be cast away?
I learned through many years of study, self evaluation, and just plain out experience, how to find my balance and start living a life of my own design.
It wasn't easy to get there.
The pressure to be "a success" plagued me. I struggled through debilitating clinical depression from childhood on and attempted suicide in 2009 because of it. I truly hit my rock bottom and I couldn't take the pressure anymore.
Through work and on purpose effort though, I learned the techniques that brought me back up and out. I learned how to free myself of the pressure of everyone else's opinions and start living for myself. And the way there was surprising. It wasn't just all about changing my work, my environment, my mental state. It was so much more. It wasn't just about loving myself more in an ethereal, intangible way.
I realized that there were tangible, physical, practical ways that helped me make the switches I needed to make easily and effortlessly. When I began doing the things that made me feel better on one level, it amazed me to see how easily it carried over into the rest of my life. I started to see the connections and realize just how intertwined it all was.
And that's why I'm here. I'm here to show you, high performer, how easy it can be to bring it all around and make yourself feel whole - maybe again, maybe for the first time.
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