A Love Letter to You

This is my love letter to you.

Because I see you.

You, who is running through your life as fast and as efficient as you can. As perfect as you can.

You, who really believes that it’s just one more positive thought, one more self-improvement technique, one more strategy, one more something that will get you there.

You, who secretly thinks it’s your fault. Who thinks there’s no other choice but to strive. There’s no other way but to push. There’s no other option but to make it happen. That anything else is you dropping the ball, not reaching the finish line, sabotaging your own chance at what everyone else seems to have.

Just. Stop.

I see the struggle behind your eyes. I see your facade of strength. I see you screaming out in silence for just a tiny, small break. Just stop.

I know it’s scary. I know you can’t fathom what that even looks like. Sounds like. *IS* like.

I know stopping feels like it could be worse than dying. Feels like you’d be failing in the most pitiful, finite way. A way that proves that all of those hidden fears you try to bury are true.

I know it feels like the hardest thing you could ever do. And it is. Because so much freedom is on the other side. So much of who you really are is on that other side. So much possibility, so much joy, so much of the elusive *happiness*. It’s there on the other side.

And I know that it is hard and scary to consider that there could be any other way. But don’t you also feel that little sliver of light and hope that there *could* possibly be another way?

I have a hard truth for you my dear. I know you are waiting for someone to tell you that you can take your break. I know you are waiting for someone to notice that you need one. To notice that you need a hand to hold. To notice that you are cracking under the pressure.

But no one is coming to do that for you. No one is coming to give you that time.

You, my dear, have to take that time. You my dear have to show up for yourself.

I love you. I see you. I will bear witness to your immense courage to be there for you.

To burn the old tired way that has never truly served you. And I will hold your hand and dance on the ashes with you.  <3

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Please join me for this Special Live Stream on Tuesday May 8th at 6:30pm where we will begin exploring what showing up for yourself looks like. Click here to be reminded when the live stream starts. 

Exploring my Faith at a Revival

  So my thoughts? What I think is a beautiful sign of growth for me is that it is very possible for me to see my own beliefs in the beliefs of a traditional Christian Church, even in an evangelistic one. Though the language that I use and the perspective that I have is different, the basic tenants of love being the driving force of everything we do remains the same. That fact warms my heart every time :-).

  I will say one thing about my adventures over the past two weeks or so with traditional Christianity and how it runs up against my personal beliefs; I don't think traditional Christianity creates a space for anyone else's understanding of God and their own personal relationship. That is annoying at its best and painful at its worst. I lost the closeness of a very important friendship because of our clash in beliefs in fact. Because mine are different, this friend just could not accept me as I am today. That has always been my main issue with traditional Christianity (and organized religion in most cases). Why we must focus so much on what someone else is doing has always been a very interesting question to ponder.

In any case, I'm very glad though that I had the experience of sharing the revival with my sister. I was happy because it made her happy and sometimes just a fact as simple as that makes it worth it. :-).

Updates!

 Quick catching up :-). 

Recap of the WINMind Fit Workshop

This past weekend was magickal. I was a guest speaker at the WIN MINDFit Workshop. It's really difficult to explain how healing and beautiful it was. I can say though that I am beyond honored to have been a part of it and I am so grateful to be able to continue to be a part of it. I am so looking forward to the next installment on June 9th. 

My talk was all about your ego and how it really is doing the best it can trying to protect you. Once you have an awareness of that, it's so much easier to have compassion for yourself and to stop yourself from falling into knee-jerk responses of fear, self-loathing and ultimately projection. 

Speaking at #WINMindFit 

The theme of this workshop was finding the WILL to change. The next will focus on sustaining change. If you are curious about joining us, you can find more information at www.winwoman.org/mindfit  

If you know you are ready to make major changes and are in need of support, remember I'm always available to help you create your game plan. Just message me and we can schedule some time to chat. 

Reminding myself that it's ok to not be perfect.

So I had a really interesting experience this week. It's opened me up to so much growth! It's really interesting because in sharing my truth, I still pissed off some people LOL and really touched and blessed others 😊. So it just continues to prove my point 😊.

I hope you have a moment to listen to my message and remember that you too don't always have to be great or perfect or liked by anyone for that matter, but definitely not by everyone. 😊

Here's to staying as happy as you can !  

Second Episode of My Podcast - I Thrive!

So finally, the timing was right and my second podcast episode happened! I created I Thrive to give inspiration to people (women especially) who are overcoming depression and anxiety. and thriving despite it. I took a tiny break and now I am jumping back in :-). This episode is about the benefits of learning your personality type and how that has affected my life. I would love for you to give it a listen, subscribe and share it with someone! Thank you!

P. S. It's also findable on Spotify, Apple and Google music :-)

Share More Imperfectly More Often

I had an experience a few days ago that jolted me into introspection. A new friend of mine was interested in some herbal remedies for a particular ailment and had reached out to me knowing about my herbal background. I wanted to help her and so I dived into research and re-remembering mode. Ultimately though she ended up going with the advice of an employee at one of our local health food stores. Her retelling of the conversation is what sparked the introspection that had been creeping around the background of my mind for a while.

I realized that I have not been sharing all that I know. I have not been telling people about herbal nutrition. I have not been telling them about plants as food as medicine. I have not been the teacher of these things in a while.

Also, since I’ve focused on empowerment and depression and anxiety coaching, I have not taught about skincare and all of the amazing natural ingredients you can find in your kitchen or your garden for beauty and wellness. I haven’t shared what I know about chakras and crystals. I don’t talk about aromatherapy and essential oils.

I know all of these things. All of these things are in my head and a part of my life. All of these things are the things that jazz me up with so much light. So why am I not sharing them?

The simple answer is of course, because Leah you can’t do all the things. But that’s not actually true. I love designing graphics for instance. The universe graciously created a platform whose sole purpose is displaying them (Instagram). So I can teach about these things that I love through pictures for one. And not from the perspective of “will anybody care about this?”. But instead from the perspective of “I’m sharing because I care about this”. It’s for me more than for anyone else. It reaching anyone else is a beautiful bonus - but a bonus still.  

I realized that the tug of angst and FOMO that I feel when I see others sharing all that they know (even the things that they’ve just learned) is really the gentle nudge for me to share more. It’s the nudge for me to break my perfectionism in half and share more imperfectly more often.

Authenticity is valuable. Lighting yourself up with the joy of the journey/creating/moment is necessary. Doing it for YOU is always the best starting place.

What have you been stalling on doing for YOU lately?

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If you are in Little Rock on March 24th (it was postponed from this weekend because of our rain showers), please join me and a couple of other FABULOUSLY inspiring women as we tackle the hard question of what it takes to have the WILL to CHANGE. 

WINFit is a the brainchild of one of my dear friends, Holly Fish. She has not ever shied away from encouraging others to dive deep in order to inspire real change and this is going to be one of those events! Check out the details on FB and at www.winwoman.org. I hope to see you there!

Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/553583668347378/

How I Nurtured Myself into a Major Uplevel

Written 2/9/2018

Wow, today has been so full. I started the day in a weird middle place. I wasn’t too high and I wasn’t too low. I was optimistic though and by the time I finished my morning meditation, I felt at peace.

And then the day threw me for a loop. I had an experience that was well-meaning but knocked me clear off my rocker. I realized through some pain just how fragile my confidence in myself actually was today. I found myself deep down in some familiar places lamenting what I can’t do, how much I’ve tried, how hopeless it is and how I should just give up.

But my anchor was this beautiful little whisper of “things are different now and you are different person now”. You see, I was getting the most stuck in the fact that the things suggested to me in this particular well-meaning conversation were things I’d tried in various ways many times before. The good-intentioned advice just pricked open a wound and dug a dagger deep into it. But because of that little whisper, I was able to hold on to something that kept me from the spiral. I was able to take care of myself.

And it wasn’t so much that I knew in that moment what I needed to do to take care of me. What I did know though was that I needed care.

This is a major shift worthy of noting. Leah of past years would still be spiraling right now. That hour that I spent in despair today would have been a week or at least a few days of despair. And it would have resulted in a dead stop in my momentum. Flying high Leah would have crashed to the ground with broken wings and broken bones barely able to inch along.

This was my pattern for so many years. I can only now look back on it and see what was happening. Manic highs and depressive lows that could be triggered by anything. And that no one else noticed except to comment on the fact that “Leah is so moody”.

Acknowledging and acting on that whisper is what gave me the greatest gift. Do you know that I’ve ended the day on an amazing high? I’ve seriously upleveled today. Because of that pain and because I’ve grown enough to recognize when I need care, I was able to put myself in the flow of the best, most perfect care.

I went from a situation that stripped me bare and left me feeling naked to one where everyone ran to me, covered me, consoled me and uplifted me. And reminded me who I am.

And because of that, I was able to go out in my next important moments and BE me. I stepped into my knowing and my power in a way that I have not before. Today they came that much closer to being just facts for me.

My way is becoming so much less of a worry and truly a path before me. And that’s what I want for you too. For you to have so much faith and ‘knowing’, that although you may falter and you may need support, you never dead stop again.