I did it. I finally finally did it. I’ve been hemming and hawing over officially beginning this new video project for about 6 months at least. To be fair, I’m easing into reminding myself that incubation periods are important and real. So even though it felt like procrastination and fear and the forever excuse of “when do I find the time?”, I’m ever amazed at how when the time is right, it really is right.
I have become a firm believer that waiting for inspiration is worth it. My favorite phrase for the past 2 years has been I take “inspired action*.
So finally, through a series of really difficult, heart-breaking events, I happened upon a quest to understand some more things about myself. Through the awe-inspiring serendipity of the universe, I happened to see an article about INFJs which peaked my interest because that’s my Meyers Brigg personality type. And resonating so so so strongly with that article was the first step towards a level of validation that I have not felt before.
And I have to just attribute it to timing - because I’ve known about my personality type for a long while and I’ve done research in understanding myself from this perspective before. But really and truly, this time around, all of my quirks just made sense. My approach to life, my desires, my difficulties, my perspectives - they just all came together under this lense.
And weirdly enough, somewhere deep within me, a click happened. A click of *rightness*, as in Leah is not tragically flawed..everything in Leah is *right* - when all of my life, that place had been stuck on *the way Leah is made up is *wrong* and we just have to push through that.
And this is super subtle. Because believe me, I have worked through so many layers of thinking I was tragically flawed and cursed and I *am* at a place where I no longer believe that. This is way deeper than that. This is on the level of believing for so long subconsciously that I didn’t have a tribe or anyone out there in the world like me - and then realizing that OMG, I DO! I DO belong somewhere! There ARE people who are wired the exact same way as I am and they are living valid, affirmed, supported, triumphant lives. It *is* possible.
And let me try to explain this because I know it may sound weird, especially coming from me. What I’m trying to say is that, I’ve always been very in sync with the urges of my soul. I’ve always known my desires to impact, to teach, to inspire, to empower - to leave a place and a person with more access to love than I found them/it.
But I always felt like I was this oddball chick. Why couldn’t I just be ok with being an engineer. Why not go work for Kraft like everyone else for goodness sake. Why not make a bunch of money now and do things I love and that matter to me later. Why why why why do I care so much? Why am I so hellbent on making a difference. Why did God make me this way? Why can’t I just be content with how everyone else does it?
I never really knew there was a reason for this other than, I was just odd and extra and God made me different.
I can only imagine what my life would have been like if someone had told me that my personality type was INFJ and so I was legitimately wired this way and then nurtured my innate talents and helped me make sense of the rest. I mean, had someone just acknowledged that me feeling like I was dieing a slow death working at Merck for instance, was a valid feeling for me and then helped me to work through it and take sensible (instead of erractic - very INFJ under pressure like) steps towards something more fulfilling - how different my life would have *felt*. And that’s just one example. I can see so many moments in my life now where that level of awareness would have made such a difference - where I was being my natural INFJ self, but to everyone else I was just being extra.
I know that my stops and starts would have been less. I know that my *inner* confidence (because my outer, *make it happen* confidence was always on point) would have been so much greater. I know that I wouldn’t have spent so much time feeling like I had to *prove* myself and *prove* that my dreams and goals were valid and that my decisions made sense. I wouldn’t have secretly been questioning it all myself.
But the journey is purposeful right? I’ve always said that I believe that the Universe has given me all of these experiences because I am incredibly strong. That is one of my superpowers. God knew that - though it might get crazily, dangerously tough - the will to try again that he infused me with would win every time. And I believe now that I know a bit of what all that is about. Because of my journey, I can help you navigate your journey. The clarity that comes from just being acknowledged where you are and validated is life-changing. Trust me, every time I experience it (like just recently in discovering more about my INFJ self), it’s a miraculous up-leveling event and it propels me into a new version of myself :-).
If you are needing some of this love, upleveling and validation I have two suggestions for you!
1. go over right now and find out your personality type. I’m telling you, it will feel transformational to *know* your quirks are understandable.
2. Schedule a call with me to help you decipher and create a plan to use this information to empower yourself and step into a new version of the happy you. More happiness is possible - trust me ;-). Click here to schedule.