Why Remembering Your Story Is Important

When you’ve dealt with debilitating depression and finally feel out of the worst of it, it’s surprising how easy it is to forget what it felt like in the middle of it. It’s very easy to forget the details of your story and even to downplay them. Slowly, your narrative turns to just remembering it as a bad time. You begin to forget that it wasn’t just a bad time, that it was in fact a strongly debilitating, stagnant time that almost destroyed your life. That’s what depression does. It takes over and throws your life dangerously out of whack.

But when you are feeling better, it’s easy to forget this.

And that’s what I want to speak with you about today. I don’t want you to forget. I want you to remember. I want you to remember down to the minute details of how your depression affected your life. It’s so very vital to your continued recovery and your ability to be happy with your life.

Without this remembering, you will be tempted to start seeing yourself on the same playing field as everyone else, holding yourself to the same standards. You’ll begin believing that the amount of effort required to reach their results should have been the same for you. And you might even begin to buy into that story that if you’d only tried harder, you would have overcome your issues and maybe you’d even be further along in life.

Especially when you have big goals and aspirations, which many people who suffer from depression do, beating yourself up for how your life has progressed is really easy to do.

But it’s not fair at all.

What I want you to remember is that you were doing the best that you could. Your stops and starts, ups and downs and seemingly insurmountable odds had so much more to do with how your mind was processing life at that time rather than any lack of effort or laziness on your part.

“Especially when you have big goals and aspirations, which many people who suffer from depression do, beating yourself up for how your life has progressed is really easy to do. But it’s not fair at all.”

And yes, you may have heard things like:

“Apply yourself more.”

“Just stick with it.”

“Keep trying and don’t give up so easily.”

“You have to at least try.”

Even things like:

“It’ll work out eventually.”

“You just have to stay positive.”

“Everybody has bad days.”

And upon looking back, you may be tempted to believe that all of those things were true and that if you’d just ‘something’, you’d be further along now. You’d have been able to accomplish your big goals back then despite your depression and anxiety.

But know this.

It’s simply not true. Your depression was real. It is real. It did have an effect. It did exist. And it did hold you down and back. It did sit on your life and suffocate your joy and hope and happiness. It did that. You didn’t do that. Your depression did that. YOU on the other hand are courageous. YOU continued to have hope, no matter how small, even as it was being strangled almost to death. YOU allowed yourself to be helped and pulled out of the spiral of depression. YOU made that decision, however small and timid it began. YOU did THAT. YOU should be commended and celebrated and awarded for reaching THAT goal.

For that is not an easy goal to attain. That’s one that even the most determined, goal-oriented person you can think of would have challenges attaining in your shoes. The obstacles you’ve had to overcome have been many. They’ve been obscure and they’ve been difficult to pinpoint. They’ve been elusive and they’ve been unclear. And yet you have still triumphed. You are still here on the other side of them, living so much more closely to, if not already in, a life that feels good more than it feels bad.

“YOU allowed yourself to be helped and pulled out of the spiral of depression. YOU made that decision, however small and timid it began. YOU did THAT.”

This is why I want you to always remember your story. Remember that your depression wasn’t just a small thing that you let take you down. It was a huge monster that dragged you down. And you triumphed still. Be encouraged. Be proud. Be bold and boastful about where you are in your life. You deserve that. You are a champion!

Teaching Salsa as Sacred Dance!

Hey goddess! So I'm a-buzzing😊. I just finished teaching another Salsa as Sacred Dance online class! I had to pop over and share with you all how transformative teaching it has been. This is the second time I've taught it and I'm realizing more and more how teaching my experience of salsa in this way is unique and yet relatable.

It's not at all that it's a concept or feeling that people aren't aware of, but it is definitely something that people have not put emphasis on. And I think there is such transformation that can come from actively acknowledging this aspect of it!

I'm staying open and receiving to divine guidance about how exactly to offer this class. Stay tuned 💖! (Silly pictures while getting ready below :-P).

Being A Voice of Hope

I’ve been hemming and hawing around this post for a few days. I’d like to think it’s because the ideas have just been materializing and maybe there is some truth to that. Closer to the truth though is that what I’m going to write about is heavy and so I’ve been avoiding it.

You may have noticed that I uploaded two new posts to the blog. These were articles that I wrote and published on Huffington Post and then realized needed to be here as well. They are about suicide, depression, and anxiety. Yep, those are things I know a lot about.

I attempted suicide in 2008 and I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I *successfully* manage them both now and suicide is an option I’ve decided not to choose. And in the tumultuous changes I’ve undergone in 2016, I’ve found myself called to share my experiences and be an example of how you can overcome them.

It started with an intense urge to do 3 specific Facebook Live videos during Suicide Prevention Month in September. 1 about How to Bounce Back from a Suicide Attempt, 2 about Why Remembering Your Story is Important and 3 about What to do about your Moody Friend.

I finally did them and with that, I realized how much my message was needed. Many people reached out to me after each video and expressed how much it helped or meant to them.

I kept getting confirmation on all levels that the things that I had learned over the years to start shifting the scale to more good days than bad days were extremely important to share.

I was reminded that the encouragement to stay above ground and to keep pushing forward to feeling better was something that I needed and didn’t always get. And I also remembered how much it meant when I did get it.

So I felt compelled to show up for the work that the Universe was calling me to do. How could I not? How could I deny that I could clearly see how all my experiences were preparing me for this? I could not with honestly sit back and say no Universe, you've got the wrong girl.

But then my own life hit hard. And I experienced a slew of stressful moments, rockiness and test upon tests. If my year has been about decluttering everything that isn’t moving me forward, this particular bent felt like what activated charcoal does to you – violently rids you of *ANYTHING* that’s still hiding out.

So yeah, I began to doubt that my voice was necessary and that this was the path laying out in front of me.

Then in the span of two weeks, I found out a salsa friend had committed suicide. I was drawn inexplicably to a woman online and found out that her husband killed himself back in August, though he was adored and loved by seemingly everyone. This morning I read about a young 12-year-old boy who self-harms and has threatened suicide many times.

I know that the Universe was speaking to me – telling me Leah – people still need a voice. They need a voice to speak for them and to them. You have to be a part of that.

So I know now that without a doubt being an advocate for suicide survivors like me and those suffering from anxiety and depression is a part of this next phase of my life. If my message can give someone who is where I was CONCRETE HOPE, the strength of belief, or even the flicker of possibility, I will share it over and over again. I will make it a big part of what I do and infuse that message into all the rest of the things I do as well.

I’m ready to be a Voice of Hope for anyone who needs to hear it. 

3 Ways to Bounce Back from a Suicide Attempt

Originally published on Huffington Post, I decided that this needed to be here as well :). 
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I am a suicide survivor. Not in the sense that is often used today – someone who’s left behind when a person commits suicide. I am in fact a suicide attempt survivor. I opted to take my life on a lonely night out of the country at a friend’s house when life had gotten particularly low. It is only because some small sliver of hope still had a voice in me that I am alive today. That voice convinced me to call my counselor and after a lot of talking, my counselor convinced me to call 911.

There was a moment when she didn’t think that I would call. And she was prepared to be with me while I died over that phone line. I think that her willingness to be with me in what could have been my final moment is what tipped my scales and got me to call.

What resulted was a horrible experience of ambulances, hospitals, embarrassment, and mostly shame.

Bouncing back wasn’t easy. And that is what this article is about.

With this being Suicide Prevention Month, my thoughts went back to that time 8 years ago. Things had gotten so bad in my mind that suicide seemed to be my best choice. At that time, I didn’t think I mattered and my self-loathing was overwhelming. After my suicide attempt, every single moment was a struggle. I had no idea how I was going to make it now that I had decided to live.

I am such a different person now. The new people in my life wouldn’t believe that I’d ever been severely depressed, let alone suicidal. They’d hardly believe that I even still deal with depression and anxiety and that I’ve just learned effective coping strategies and radical self-care practices that have led me out of the bad zones. They see me as a bright, bubbly, always positive ray of sunshine.

“After my suicide attempt, every single moment was a struggle. I had no idea how I was going to make it now that I had decided to live.”

So how did I get here? How did I get from where I was 8 years ago, trying to bounce back from a suicide attempt on my own to bright and silver lining focused?

It was a long process but these are three of the first steps I took.

1. Distraction

When I attempted suicide, I was in a foreign country and without close friends or family. After my hospital experience, I had to ride a bus 16 plus hours back home to a city where I didn’t have anyone but my counselor to help me rebuild. Suffice it to say that I was clearly still in danger mentally. One of the first things that helped me stay alive was distraction. Heavy thoughts were no good at all. So to keep my mind occupied, I distracted myself with any and everything. That meant becoming hyper focused on whatever was in front of me. I let myself get distracted by the people around me, by the pattern on the seats, by choosing what snack to grab from the vending machine etc. Anything that would occupy my mind sufficed. I just had to keep my mind busy and the busier I could keep my mind, the more time would pass and then all of a sudden, I would have gotten through a day. And another day. And another day. For a long time, that’s exactly how I made it.

2. Mini-victories

When I think about the way that I thought before, it amazes me that I survived. I even had the belief once that not being able to successfully kill myself was yet another example of my inadequacy. Inadequacy was a major theme and being a failure ran through the core of that. So when I was rebuilding myself, I had to make my focus small. I told myself that just for right now, any little thing I do is a reason to celebrate. If I got out of bed that day, I celebrated. If I made tea that day, I celebrated. Actually making dinner – that was cause for bells and whistles.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t have anyone to celebrate with me. I wrote my little wins down in my journal and reminded myself that I was doing so well. I reminded myself that I was just a short time away from deciding that I didn’t want to be around anymore, so just the fact that I’d decided to stay was major. I reminded myself that I had at least earned the right to just focus on the small things. I comforted myself and patted my own self on the back. And I told myself that just for right now, that would be ok.

3. An Important Promise

This is probably the most important thing that I did. I was lucky that there was someone around me that made me make this promise because it’s not something I thought of on my own. I think of this woman as my angel. She looked me in the eyes and she made me promise to her that no matter what, I would never attempt suicide again. And as hard as it was at the time, I promised her. To this day, that promise has been a savior in my life. There have been times that this promise has been the hook that has pulled me out of a depressive spiral. Many times it has been the catalyst that has spurred me on to get help when I’ve needed it.

Why does a promise have so much power? It’s not the promise part, because you can make promises to yourself that you justify breaking. It’s much more about who you make that promise to and what disappointing that person would mean for you. In my case, disappointing this beautiful woman that treated me so lovingly at a time when I really needed it was and is unbearable to think of. That is the key. Make your promise to someone that it would be unbearable to disappoint and it will keep you true to it. Find that person in your life – maybe she’s the recovery nurse or your best friend or your daughter or son or your great aunt or even someone who popped into your life for just a brief moment. What matters is that their opinion of and faith in you matters more to you than giving in to your sadness and angst.

“That is the key. Make your promise to someone that it would be unbearable to disappoint and it will keep you true to it.”

This is heavy stuff and the journey from attempting suicide to knowing without a doubt that you are loved and wanted and valuable can be a long one. But it starts with tiny steps. Putting one figurative foot in front of the other is the path forward. These are the tiny steps that set me on my path and my hope is that they can help you step forward on yours. I invite you to join me over in my Facebook Group Inner Goddess/Outer Glow where I share more about the tips and technique that I use everyday to keeping taking those positive steps forward. In the resource files there, you’ll find articles and worksheets that will help you along your way!

Returning to Blogging

It's been a long time since I've written huh? It's not that I haven't been writing - it's just that I've been writing elsewhere. I started writing for the Huffington Post and next month I will start writing for Thrive Global, Ariana Huffington's latest project. I've also been writing for Best Kept Self and mostly I've been writing for myself to myself in my lovely little journals in an attempt to figure as much of everything out as possible. 

I suppose this is my coming to Jesus moment so to speak :-). I'll admit, I've been so busy and concerned about running a business the 'right' way, that I've actually not been working in my business but instead working on my business. That's fun and all but you can quickly and easily approach burnout. You feel like you are the only one doing everything (you mostly are) and there's never enough time for anything. 

It's stressful and it's not soul soothing. 

It takes you out of alignment and you forget why you are doing what you do in the first place. 

And then you start to doubt. And then that's when my particular downward spiral starts. 

So today, I'm returning back to my basics - back to the reasons I started this blog and even the reasons that I began teaching all those years ago anyway. I wanted people to feel empowered. I wanted people to know exactly how they could heal themselves. On all levels. I wanted people to know that it's possible to live life happy and on purpose. 

That is what is in alignment with my soul and my spirit. I'm not sure how that's going to turn into the type of income that frees me from worrying about ends meeting each month and through the month. I just know that right now, I need more than ever to be the truest to myself. 

And the interesting thing is that it is truly a nuanced thing. Because I am always endeavoring to operate out of my truth. But I am also wired to think about what would be the most pleasing to someone else. What I'm realizing though in the forefront of my mind (instead of in my afterthoughts and subconscious) is that it has to be pleasing to me first. When I do pleasing to me, I attract those that it's also pleasing to. 

Someone reminded me today that we are in a new paradigm. The old way of doing things, of bulldozing through, of making it happen on intent and will alone, on pushing harder, faster, and stronger - that this way is old, outdated, and doesn't even work anymore.

The new way is to be led by intuition, to continuously be tapping in and listening for and to divine inspiration. This is a way that comes naturally to me. I've always been led by my intuition, even to what seemed like at the time, a fault. It's affirming to know that the paradigm is shifting in my favor :). 

So what to expect? I'm not super sure. I'm going to let myself feel it out. I know that I'm going to dive into teaching more. I love to teach. I feel called to teach. I feel called to empower you through my hands on, tangible, teaching work. I feel called to motivate you to love yourself enough to show it in the physical realm and not just the mental. 

And I'm going to create more and just put it out there. And I'm not going to worry about the end result. I'm going to focus on the inspired action and let that be my guide. The right people will find me and what you need from me, you'll receive :). 

I'm believing it babe :). 

Stay tuned as I show you the truth of it :). 

7 Days to Clear Skin Challenge Recap!

Did you miss the 7 Days to Clear Skin Challenge? It was sooooo great and I had suuuuch a good time compiling all of the information for everyone who participated! Once the challenge got started, doing the Facebook Live videos in the group daily was such a treat as well! And the best part is that everyone who participated saw great results and are really pumped to keep up with their new skincare routines.

That is probably the best part for me – that I was able to give of the knowledge I’ve acquired through all of these years and it actively helped people. It’s a wonderful feeling when you know what you’ve shared has been useful!

So what did we cover in the skincare challenge? Well the premise was that in just 7 days, you can set your skin on a path towards healing, thereby bringing about that beautiful, glowing and clear skin that we all love seeing. It really is possible!

At the beginning of the challenge, I gave out a specific *simple* and basic skincare routine for everyone to follow. It consists of basic skincare items that will bring your skin back into balance. Many times when your skin is out of whack it needs a dose of basic care, so going back to the bare-bone basics of skincare is key.

Each day, in the emails and Facebook live videos, I talked in detail about different aspects of the skincare routine we followed. That way everyone participating understood *why* I made my recommendations and could begin the process of understanding exactly what their own skin needs are.

And as an added bonus, I conducted a 1-card Empowerment Reading for each day of the Challenge. Skincare can absolutely be a source of empowerment and what I reiterated each day was that, although caring for your skin at first can seem surface and even vain, it truly can be a bridge to loving and valuing yourself more, especially when you are DIY’ing it. So the Empowerment Readings helped to focus in on that aspect of the skincare work – helping everyone to see how to use this challenge as a source of empowerment as well.

It really was a blast and I’m sad for you if you missed it!

But the great news is that I will be doing a follow up free class this coming Wednesday on two vital steps to beautiful skin - scrubs and masks. We didn’t really get a chance to dive into those during the challenge, so that’s why I’m devoting a whole class to them :-). I would love for you to attend the class and learn why these two steps are so important and what you can use (from commonplace to exotic) to customize them for yourself.

I so hope you will join us!

Even though the class is free, I still need for you to register so that I can send you the special viewing link! Register here:  http://www.leahpatterson.com/2steps     

I'm looking forward to Wednesday! As always, if you have any questions, type them out in the comments or just send me a quick message :-). 

Essential Oils Repel Mosquitoes

Hey hey and happy Friday! Today's post involves one of my favorite items, essential oils :). You probably already know how much I appreciate essential oils and all they can do for us on multiple levels. 

Well a few days ago on my Facebook Page, I did a video talking about Lavender essential oil and how it can repel mosquitoes and the video below is all about Lemongrass. I also give you a simple recipe for making your own bug repellent spray. It really is quite easy! Check it out and let me know if you have any questions! Also remember that the 7 Days to Clear Skin Challenge starts this Monday! If you haven't signed up, you can now at bit.ly/7clearskin I'm so looking forward to taking you on this skincare journey and so I hope you join us!

 

 

Essential Oils that Repel Mosquitoes

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In addition to educating you via my blog, I also work with clients one – on – one to achieve not only their skincare goals but to set them on the path to achieving their life goals as well through finding balance and vibrant living in mind, body, and spirit!

If you are looking for this kind of help, I’d love to jump on a call with you and talk about it!

Reach out to me here and we can set something up! <3!

3 Simple Tips to Get Gorgeous, Radiant Skin

I have a question for you today.

What keeps you from having the gorgeous skin that you want?

Is it a lack of knowledge of what to do? Is it a lack of resources to address the problems?

In most cases with most people, it’s neither of these. In fact I’d even say that in our society today, we have an overload of information, so much that it can be really difficult to figure out what will work for you.

As far as a lack of resources, the majority of skin care products are fairly affordable and there is definitely no lack of choices. Again though, all of these choices often lead to overwhelm, putting off, and stagnation.

And what do we get in return? More breakouts, more dryness, more redness, and inevitably more unhappiness.

We can change this! This is fixable dear! All it really takes is creating a plan and sticking to that plan. We don’t hear this advice in all aspects of life for nothing. We hear it because it works. It is *the* way to make change and *the* way to then evaluate change. If you never get to consistency, you’ll never get to change because you’ll never know what works and what doesn’t for sure.

This sounds easy, but I know from personal experience that this is anything but. So today, I’m going to help you make that plan.

One thing that most people struggle with is dull skin. Regardless if their skin is oily or dry, the skin can look dull, ashen, and lifeless. This can seem like an insurmountable issue, but in truth, the remedy is super simple. It just requires a plan and consistency.

The issue in this case is exfoliation. Exfoliation is the process of mechanically or chemically removing layers of dead skin cells. For lovers of a natural way, mechanical exfoliation can be carried out with corn starch or baking soda and chemical exfoliation by brown sugar or certain fruits. The dullness, in most cases, is caused by dead skin cells that just need to be removed – simple as that.

However, there is a plan that you need to follow.

1.       Exfoliate twice a week in the beginning to jumpstart your skin’s response.

2.       Too much exfoliating is a bad thing, so be sure to only exfoliate twice a week.

3.       Do this for ONE WHOLE MONTH. In two weeks, you’ll most likely begin to see changes, but you need to give it time. It takes 28 days for your skin to be completely new.

Commit yourself to doing this and trust me, you’ll see results! The key is keeping yourself accountable. Focus on how beautiful your skin will be looking at the end of those short 28 days and let that be motivation to keep yourself following your plan!

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These are just some of the steps to take to clear your skin and rid it of acne, dry patches, and redness. If you are interested in learning more, I invite you to download my free 5 Steps to Gorgeous Skin Info Guide! It covers all of the essential 5 steps that will get your skin back in shape. Just enter your email address below and receive it in your inbox!

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