Boom, we’re all of a sudden at the Virgo New Moon - a day past it in fact. And I’m doing my best to really tap into the energy and feel into (and figure out) what my next steps in life look like. As per always, my life is filled with potential change and potential paths. That’s why a Virgo moon is really a great gift for a multi-passionate person. It helps immensely with clarity on what path, out of the thousands available, is the best one for you right now.
What my intuition, readings and personal knowledge say about this one though, is that it’s not just about what makes the best sense, it’s also about what feels the best. After all, our feelings are really the barometer of what is actually *right* for us.
That’s one thing that I have difficulty with however because it all feels right. It all feels like THIS, THIS is what I should be doing. But when I go deeper, I begin to see just how much of what I THINK feels right, is really just residuals of what OTHER people think feels right, what I THINK other people think is right and even what I think will make other people feel that *I* am right.
Let me explain with real-life examples. This weekend two things have come up as triggers for me about what I should be doing with my life. They both are things that in the past, caused me to fall into doubting myself and questioning my path and asking yet again, why can’t I just be normal.
(The beauty is that I’m catching myself faster and I’m asking more insightful curious questions. AND I’m moving forward with what I feel good about anyway.)
The Houston BIG Salsa Festival.
The Houston BIG Salsa Festival is this weekend. I’ve been seeing posts about it from salsa friends and acquaintances and it’s been picking at old wounds and begging me to *go there* - into the space of wondering why that never happened for me. Or if I want that to still happen for me. And what that even looks like in real life. And even why I THINK that never happened for me when in fact it did, just not quite how I envisioned.
Seeing another mental health advocate receive praise.
There’s a website that I admire that regularly features articles about mental health advocacy, specifically from and about women of color. Yet they’ve never featured anything of mine, though I’ve submitted things for their consideration, have tagged them on things and even spoke with the founder over the phone and connected really well. Today I saw that they posted something else and I spiraled down the comparison well. I fell into the space of asking myself why *I’d* never been featured, why *I* couldn’t be more consistent with my work as a mental health advocate and why I couldn’t just focus on one thing.
And all of this introspection makes perfect sense for Virgo season, especially because I’ve been diligently working on understanding what my business is really about, how I want it to grow and what I want it to look like in the future.
One thing that I have to continue to remind myself of and make peace with is that I’m doing things a different way. I’m just a different person. I have different ideas and different ways of thinking. And this is RIGHT. This is the way it’s supposed to be. I am a paradigm shifter. I am a changemaker. I am a catalyst creator. It’s what I’ve always been and what I probably always will be. I’ll always have different ideas. I’ll always see things in a different way. I’ll always want to combine things and create synchroncities where they may not have actually existed before. I’ll always want to do things in a slightly different, very me-esque way.
That’s just me. And the sooner and more often that I make that right in my OWN mind, the more quickly and consistently everyone else will believe it’s right too. It’s on ME. NOT on them.
And one of the really interesting things I’ve found in my life is that this statement that it’s on me and not on them is more true than most realize.
Most of the time, YOU are the one standing in your way. You probably have tons of cheerleaders around you, trying to convince you of your awesomeness, reminding you of your innate power and birthrights and telling you that you can do it. It’s YOU that is still standing on the edge of the pool, barely dipping a toe in.
So in this season of Virgo, especially over this next week, see what comes up for you about what is really YOU. Yes, there are a bazillion things you could do because you are in fact that awesome. But you owe it to yourself to NOT to try to do them all. At least not all in the same span of seconds :). You owe it to yourself to make YOU just as important as all the things you could do.
This is what I’m working on. This is what is going to help me streamline MY life and say to myself - “that’s ok Leah” when HardAss Leah shows up to point out that I could have been an internationally famous salsa dancer or I could have been a nationally known mental health advocate - if only I’d done more.
I”m not about doing more. I’m about doing what I want, what makes my heart sing. What makes me ultimately just a little bit happier.
If you are about figuring this out for yourself too, I’ve created some journal prompts that can be helpful.